My Thoughts on Jalsa Salana

First of all. I would like to wish Ahmadis a very pleasant and fulfilling Jalsa Salana here in the UK.

As I have nothing to do tonight, I thought to myself, why not write a blog about Jalsa? Let’s go for it.

First, we will start with my favourite platform, twitter!

Let’s see what our brothers in humanity had to say about Jalsa

Here is Razi at it with his all-rounded, researched and objective statement

final jalsa razi twitter

Out of the 136 Ahmadis who retweeted this, none of them had the brains to figure out that what was said was inherently stupid and foolish. It’s obvious that this is not the largest Islamic convention worldwide, let alone the UK, let alone England. Why the obsession of numbers, is this all you have left? Lies

But I would give them the benefit of the doubt and believe that over 100 Ahmadis just don’t know anything about numbers. This is what happens when you marry from the same family members for generations, further down the line, you get this sort of calculation capabilities. If any of those who liked or retweeted this have graduated from college, then they must be definite liars because those who endorse a lie are no different. Also, all the other Ahmadis who don’t have the courage to question or point out the clear lie are definitely held accountable for it too.

Okay, but let’s not get into that now, but a point needs to be made here. There’s an obvious over exaggeration about Jalsa atmosphere. I could probably hold a bigger back garden party.

The next tweet comes from my second most favourite author

jalsa salana qasim

Same old same old sayings. When I used to work at Jalsa, they’d always give a lecture at the end of how it was a city and then we packed it up like it’s a suitcase. What the hell is he trying to say in that post, that Ahmadis built those tents?

And does that even look like a city? It looks like it’s a temporary military training camp to me.

Basically, Ahmadis didn’t build any of that In case any vulnerable mind believes that crap. The most they can run is a crappy Tabligh meeting of which nothing fruitful will come out of.

Since he brought this up though. Let me actually break down what actually happens in Jalsa and the matter of effort that actually goes into it. Here is a closer look at what is going on there

jalsa salana edited

  1. Main Marquee, one for women (left) and the other for men (right).
  2. MTA, all broadcasting with all that high tech stuff (hard earned chanda) like my editing goes around in there.
  3. Curry house. 
  4. Spiritual shopping takes place there. A burger for over £2.00, you can find a cheaper one in central London.
  5. VIP eating well prepared food.


This is just off the top of my head, they change the setting every couple of years, so it would be helpful for Ahmadis to chip in towards describing the biggest Islamic convention worldwide.

Yes back to the topic, I have many issues with Jalsa. Supposedly being important (although all you Punjabis know each other), the cost that goes into it is way too much. There is no need for the big tent to house the men and the women, why hire all these Marquees that will cost hundreds of thousands of pounds to accommodate mostly returning Ahmadis for three days. Look at the amount of cars there are parked, most Ahmadis come from around London and go back the same day, and those that come from further North bring sleeping bags with them or sleep in the accommodation provided. My advice would be simply to rid off the two main Marquees for the sake of saving money, just have some sort of shelter. The only reason why they do all this stuff it because they want their youth to be doing something, or being proud of something. There’s nothing to be proud of when wasting money like that. They probably need good shots for MTA, so the Marquee is important somehow, to get better shots.

Carrying on from this point. Let’s say that Qasim wasn’t trying to fool people when he was saying ‘they built’, let’s suppose he was talking about the hard working polish immigrants for a second. The reality is that  there’s barely any work to do in Jalsa. I will drop down the proportion and type of work these Ahmadis have to endure~

  1. Security: 60%
  2. serving guests~accom/food: 25%
  3. Electricity: 10%
  4. MTA: 5%


Yes, I know, security? why so much emphasis. I don’t know, ask Ahmadis, it’s part of being a cult. The reason why Security supersedes all the other jobs is because it starts the earliest, and it takes up a lot of Khuddam (15-40 year olds). This process starts out 15 days before Jalsa. They get Khuddam from London and the south west to stand 24/7 for 15 days at various posts around the field to guard any invading armies. The reason why I placed that red line is to emphasis how far Ahmadis go to wasting their time for pointless things. The last time I was at Jalsa, they had 10’s of Khuddam lined up across that path facing the bush while Masroor and his security drove through across half a mile to get to the main marquee.